So Great I Can Smell It…

I’m Great. I know it. You are not. And that you do not know.
Until now.
You See I was walking earlier when I saw a person coming at me on the other side of the sidewalk. I was assuming they would move over and let me pass by but unfortunately they did not and therefore we ran into one another, shoulder to shoulder. So this brings to my attention, if I can sense my greatness, how come other’s cannot ? There’s you something to think about and when you come up with an answer please let me know!

Now back onto other great things. I do not use soap showering unlike you other people because I reek of greatness. But I was in Tiny Tim’s Little Tiny Shopping Mart yesterday and found a soap called Irish Springs. I have never used this soap before due to the fact I do not need soap as stated above. However I decided to grab a bottle for purchase and later on used it in the shower that night, I am now a scent ravaging king. Greener pastors truly are ahead of me. If you have not tried Irish Springs give it a try! And you too can be just like me…I kid… I kid… but you can try!

-Shaun The Great

Advertisements

Great Bulb Above

After some time alone thinking to myself over the past few months, I have come to the conclusion that I am in fact great.

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for a much longer update detailing my greatness in the near future and yes you too will be great…in your own very special little way.

Halloween The Great

 

Halloween, why it’s so damn great!
Every October 31st we get to enjoy one of the greatest holidays on the calendar, Halloween! Why is it so great ? Well I will tell you. Halloween is so damn great because even us adults actually get to have fun for once, and bullying is gone out the window, we actually get to scare kids to tears. I know it sounds sad and pathetic but down the road they will thank you, as little Jimmy (who is now 18) did last year when he walked up to me and said “Shaun The Great, thank you for fake murdering my family when I was a kid and making me sleep in the cemetery the entire night, you really showed me what the Halloween spirit is all about.” He’s not the only one who has came forward, little April (who is now 20) came up to me in the grocery store yesterday and said to me “Shaun The Great, thank you so much for putting laxatives in my candy when I was 12 and making me think I was poisoned and going to die, you really know what Halloween is all about!”

 

I tend to give only certain holidays the title of “Great” and Halloween deserves it. One way to scare kids is to show them my level of greatness and their level and tell them they will never be as great as me and laugh in their face, with just that quick slap of reality they usually end up crying or ask me if I’m lying, which of course as you all know by now, that’s not the case. I can’t help that some of these kids will grow up to be nothing more than the average citizen, so I try to show them, and I just figured Halloween would be the best time of the year, I know it sure would scare me if someone told me that I was going to wake up tomorrow just an average guy, I have no idea what I would do.

 

Anyway’s enough about me, let’s talk Halloween, movies in particular, my all time favorite horror franchise is “Friday The 13th”, pure greatness! Coming in second and third would be “A Nightmare On Elm St” and “Halloween”. I do however like classics like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, “Leprechaun”, “House”, and there’s a newer film that I have recently classified as great and that would be “Hatchet” and it’s sequel “Hatchet 2” both starring Kane Hodder most commonly known for portraying Jason in the “Friday The 13th” franchise. Grab these films and hold on for a great wet ride…and that wetness won’t be water…if you catch my drift……..

 

 

 

The Great One

 

-Shaun The Great

Cars For When You’re Great!

 

Cars for the greats. Generaly when people think of cars for great people like myself, they think Bentley, Maybach, Ferrari, Porsche, or Lamborghini. If you havent read I am of great status and therefore I require elegant and yet sophisticated materialistic things in life including my cars, and that is why I chose the Bugatti Veyron 16.4, pure class, speed and luxury all in one. This car comes packing close to 1000bhp with a top speed of approximately 253mph, that is unless you go with the Super Sport, but this is where class is chosen over speed. Not that the Super Sport isn’t classy, it just isn’t, how do you say…elegant enough for the finer people in life?

 

My ladies who are on the path to greatness (my bedroom) expect the very best out of me, so the Bugatti Veyron 16.4 isn’t just the only car I drive but I have recently purchased a Ferrari 458 Italia. One of the most beautiful cars a man or woman could ever lay eyes on. With a price tag of $325,000 you may ask how do I afford it along with the $1,500,000 price tag of the Bugatti Veyron ? Well here’s how, I’m great Motherfucker! Deal with it.

 

Hopefully this will help some of you wannabe “greats” out with cars and ladies. I’ve given you some great knowledge here so how about you go empty your bank account and drive over to your local Bugatti or Ferrari dealer and buy you a new ride! Remember greatness is something you will never achieve in life, after all I was born with the gift, but if you want to be like me, you just have to be smooth and keep reading my blogs and I will try to help you out as much as I can with my special advice whether it’s on getting women, looking great, acting great, or just plain out being great. Well until next time,

 

The Great One,

 

-Shaun The Great.

The Introduction

 

Why am I so great, I don’t know but I’m writing anyway. To amaze the ones who aren’t great. It takes a lot to be great. I’m a great person I must say. All your wives love me, because I’m great. If I wasn’t great I wouldn’t say I was great. My clothes, great, my hair, great, my bod, great. I do not want to impose on those un-great people of the world in which we live but I believe it’s just something I have to do, to help separate the greats from the not-so-greats. People call us greats, superficial, I have no idea of the meaning, but I think it sounds cool so I’m just going to type it right there and leave it. Because I’m great. And I can do that. So let’s move on. What makes someone so great ? Is it their personality ? or is it their wealth ? maybe their looks ? or is it just because they’re just so damn great there’s no denying it on each and every aspect. People come up to me on a daily basis, and ask Mister, how do I become so great ? And I say to them, You can’t be me, I’m great…Motherfucker…

 

Back in my younger days when I was in school, I use to daydream about what to do with my great self. So I started skipping school on a daily basis since I figured I’m too great for school and there’s no way someone as great as me will be needing an education, due to my greatness of course. If I did drugs they were considered great, if I did the fat and ugly girls, they were considered great, basically anything I ever touched was considered great. So if you wanted some luck with the women, you just came to me and I gave you a great ole shiner before the weekend. In gym class I obviously was too great to run laps around gym class so coach let me work with the rejects and teach them about greatness, something they would never achieve. It was like telling a blind person someday they too will see, knowing deep down, there’s no way in hell their asses are ever going to get their sight back. But it’s the smile that matters.

 

Shaun The Great, that’s the name I was given at birth in the year of 1986 also commonly known as the greatest year on record. This blog entry is to those who have always wondered what it is like to be great. Well now you all know. It’s not always easy, I mean who wants a crowd of people gathering around them every time they walk out of their house to steal their neighbor’s newspaper ?
However the greatness perk I was born with is something I will cherish forever and remind each and every one of you every day how great it is to be me. Remember greatness is something you are born with so please do not try this at home, it could result in dramatic failure resulting in low self-esteem and or possible self-inflicted injuries. May you all live prosperous even without the greatness.

 

– Shaun The Great